feeling bloated inside but empty outside

A faded rainbow

From young till now I am still so obsessed with rainbow, because when it started raining so heavily with loud thunderstorms and scary lightning, grandpa will never allow us to go out play. Colorful rainbow will then appeared after rain. Which brighten up my day with a WOW and a smile in my heart.  

My life is just like a rainbow, filled up with many different colors- Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. I ever asked myself if I am a gift from Santa Claus to my parents? My mission is to bring loads of fun, laughter, entertainment, and also unlimited love and a smile in people heart ♥. But sometime I think I am wrong. I am failed to bring them what I mention above but hurt and trouble to them.

Nothing is unlimited in this world I guess. Once something faded off, there is no way for you to hold back. Just like feelings right? 

Saw my post title? Feeling bloated inside but empty outside. This is exactly how I feel now. I don't know how to describe it. I feel something heavy inside hard to remove away. I don't know what is that something. Izzit because I always bottled down things that's why I feel this way? 

♥ Eileen