I never had this feeling before...

Almost every week I will meetup with Lin Hui, we will have heart to heart talk together about our past and what we both been through. Life is short to experience many different obstacles but most importantly we enjoyed the process isn't it?

There is message I want to tell a special person of mine for a very long time, all these while I got no chance to meetup or even a phone call though we are staying nearby now. Perhaps I will never get a chance to see him or meet him in person again. Bur still I hope him will see this and understand. 

dear dbd, 

Time flies pretty fast. It has been a year since we last broke off. I know the decision we both made is the correct one. We see no point being together where both argument and fight is found between us almost everyday. I know myself I am a hot tempered girl with full of nonsense and crap everyday. I am a weird girl on earth. Well, I cannot denied that there are some certain misses from me to you. 

1. I missed those days and nights we spent together inside and outside. 
2. Your sweet kisses on my lips, check and forehead every meetup. Especially kissing on my forehead before I enter house.
3. Your comfortable tight hugs from my back on my waist telling me how much you miss and love me. 
4. Your big warmth hand holding my small hand.
5. The way you hug me from the back and whispered "I LOVE YOU GIRL" into my ear. 

 Or I should I misses everything. From the process of a unknown stranger to a working colleague, from a working colleague to a friends, from a friend to brother/sister, from brother/sister to a relationship. 

Being together for 2 years. I can't say it's long or short. Within this period of time, I became someone in you. I know every single bit of you. Even if you stare at me with a kind of expression, I know what you want and what your trying to tell me. We are more than a normal couple we see on streets but less than a marriage couple. Without failed you always complained that I don't understand you nor know you. But indeed I know I understand. But you don't see it nor feel it. 

I sincerely thank you for... 

1. Accepting me as your beloved girlf. 
2. Accept the way I am. 
3. Giving me a chance to know you, love you and understand you. 
4. Allowing me to experience things that I never used to. 
5. Love and pamper me like a small baby princess. 
6. Being patient with me when I am angry or moody. 
7. Remain calm and chill me down when I am angry. 
8. Hug me tightly and hush me in your arms when I cried badly. 
9. Accompany me to doctor when I am sick. 
10. Reminding me to take my medication as you know I will either skip it or forgot about it.
11.  Remind me on my doctor appointment in the hospital. 
12. Stayed up late together with me when I am busy preparing for my coming class test/exams. 
13. Help me with my projects designs though you don't understand what am I doing at times.
14. Buy and delivered me supper when I am hungry in the middle of the night. 
15. Meet me up for breakfast sometimes before my school. 
16. Making sure I will never go hungry.
17. Taking care of me when I am sick.
18. many many more la. Cannot managed to type every single thing.

Lastly, thank you for allowing me to know how much I meant to you. How much you love me. How important I am to you. And also thanks for being true to me, accompany me and leave a memorable memories behind for me. 

I sincerely apologized for...

1. Saying nasty things when I am pissed and angry.
2. For not balancing my time management well between my personal problem, family, studies, friends, work and relationship.
3. Hurt your feelings when we both argued.
4. Made you worried when I am still outside late night.
5. Hanged out with all my male classmates till late night.
6. Go for drinking session always.
7. Neglect your feelings.
8. Do and say things that hurt your feelings badly. 
9. Purposely Ignored you when I am angry or moody.
10. Attitude and throw temper on you when my things doesn't work well. 

I should say sorry for everything I have done wrongly in the past. Think back, it make me even guilty now. 

Before I end this post, I would like to let you know.. I don't hate you nor blame you for your leave. I thank you instead. Your leave made me realized that we are asking for different goals and aims. I am too dependent on you in everything. I need to be strong in order for me to win. Now I am becoming stronger, not depending on anyone anymore. I am going towards my aims and goals. I believe you too.

I sincerely wish you all the best in life. I hope to see you on streets on day. By then I hope we will have more common topic to share with you.. See you around. 

Lots of love,

Eileen :D