Look at the time now. Its nearly 2am, yet I am still sitting infront of lappy posting blog instead of sleeping. One reason: I cant get myself to sleep. Lots of good and bad memories keep flashing back~ I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. I really don't know! Looking back on what ah nic have wrote to me, think back on what he said to me, recalled what promises we both made, and many many more. I am such a lost girl now. Just now serene asked me : If I ever regret being with him? My answer is always NO! At least I tried my very best to hold on to this fragile relationship whereby loads of small and deep cracks can be seen clearly. And also my love is all bet on it. I am happy enough to gain all your trust and love before. It's really more than anything else. I wanna try to let go everything and then start everything from the start again. I know it's not easy to forget someone and move on to the next process of life.
It's coming to the end of 2011. Which mean Christmas is coming. Time flies! Grandpa death anniversary is coming. Think back~ He left us for 8 years alrdy. He should be somewhere far away tgt with grandma watching over our ONG family. Once again! We love you grandparents :) Ah gong! Remember what I told you when I visited you at your gravestone during qing ming this year? I am sorry! Somehow my mindset gotta lil changes. But I will still keep to my promise alright. I will make you proud one day. I will proved everyone who looked down on your that I can do it! And I know I will. Ah ma! Not to be forgotten. Someday I still see you in my dream. I dont know if your here to pass me a msg or what. I cannot remember anything single thing when I woke up. I am sorry. If you gotta msg to leave, please come back to my dream and tell me okay. I make sure I will remember it. What I promised you the other time. I will do it! I wont forget. Promise!
Believe this gonna be a lost post. I got many things to say but I know it's impossible for me to type out everything. It's alright, I cut it short and simple then.
* ah nic-You should be doing good in camp. This year I feel so empty. Missed out loads of occasion whereby we used to celebrate and spend time tgt. Without failed, on the 17th of each month, my heart will sink. Cos I know it supposed to be our monthly anniversary. This coming X'mas I am not gonna celebrating with you. I am waiting for you to talk to me again alright. I am waiting.
with love,
Eileen
* spongebob- I dont know what can I say to you now. What I wanna say I alrdy wrote on that paper. I am sorry that I caused loads of hurts to you and made you cried so hard the other time. I keep quiet doesn't mean I don't feel anything okay. I appreciated what you have done for me so far. I am happy to know you somewhere in my life. You left something in my heart you know? Your sweet smile cheer me up whenever I see you :) I got many thing to say but I don't know where should I start and when to stop. I am stupid right? Nevermind, We shall talk when I see you okay?
with love,
watermelon.
* mummy dinosaur- Yeah! I got many things to tell you! But I know I got no chance to say out. And I know it's impossible for me to type out everything. Here I go uh... Firstly, somehow your impt to me. Without failed you brighten up my day by sending me a Good morning Eileen dinosaur :) especially my pathetic weekends. You know I have to work and then will help me count down. Thank you! Something that
I will never forget. You and your brother train all the way down to vivo just to accompany me at work. Spend time tgt at vivo sky park after my work. This is the most memorable night ever. You two rock my night. I enjoyed all our dinner dates tgt, though the time we spend each dates is so short, but I did really enjoy :) Most imptly, a very big thank you to you. When I am having my sc camp, you stayed up late night just to accompany me text till I feel like sleeping. So sweet of you seriously. HAHA! Eh don't blush okay!!!! Yeah what I own you I will return you. I wont forget :) With you in my life, its the most happy thing ever. I hope I have also brighten up your day and life with all the stupid thingy I have done.
I will never forget. You and your brother train all the way down to vivo just to accompany me at work. Spend time tgt at vivo sky park after my work. This is the most memorable night ever. You two rock my night. I enjoyed all our dinner dates tgt, though the time we spend each dates is so short, but I did really enjoy :) Most imptly, a very big thank you to you. When I am having my sc camp, you stayed up late night just to accompany me text till I feel like sleeping. So sweet of you seriously. HAHA! Eh don't blush okay!!!! Yeah what I own you I will return you. I wont forget :) With you in my life, its the most happy thing ever. I hope I have also brighten up your day and life with all the stupid thingy I have done.
with love,
Eileen dinosaur.
Riduwan- When I login to fb, I always saw the msg you send me. It reminds me when did you first talked to me after mia for so long. HAHA! Happy to know that your doing well in cartel. Jy Jy alright. X'mas is coming! Which mean we have talked to each other for almost a year. HAHAHA! Eh don't forget me once you go ns alright :) see you around gv and cartel!
with love,
Eileen.
Finally I am done with my post. Woosh! My finger is so numb :( ouch! Look at the time now. It's turning 3am soon. Which mean I only got 3 hours to sleep before I head to school. Another long day later. Jy eileen!!!! And also mama kong long Jy Jy too okay! I will count down till 1645 your work end time :) so sweet of me right? aha!
^eileen!
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