Unknown feeling!
I believe there is no other people facing the same thing as me now. Putting in the wrong feeling in between a ex boyf, friend, close friend and also boyf. I told myself many times, never want to be in the situation anymore. But somehow I fall into it again and again.
Last night before grandpa board his train, We supposed to shake hands and say goodbye. But I hold onto his hand for awhile and gotta feeling not to let go. I don't mean anything but perhaps I depend on him too much already. He is someone who I rely on always in school or outside school. I don't know why but ya.
Recently we both get even closer in term of he start sharing with me what happened to him and such. And then I will tell him what happened to me too. Without failed, he will sarcastic with me, joke on those things I told him, never want to get serious, pretended not to care but inside him he care. This is what I like about him.
Though we are 2 years age difference, but it seem like both of us are the same. He can be as childish as me, naughty and playful like me, noisy like me and many more.
But I promise I will not fall for him. A close friend will always be one. Not more than that :)
Eileen
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