I don't know what is the correct word to describe my feelings and emotion. It seem like it is beyond my control. Who can truly understand my situation and feel me? Every single tears rolled down my checks hurts badly. I am bleeding badly inside but I am alright outside. Who knows? None! 

After keeping everything deep inside my heart, finally I open the cap and told Ryden every single thing. True enough I feel better but my heart still bleed badly. I want to be strong like other kids. But I cannot face it myself, I cannot control my emotion, myself and overcome everything. 

Things have come to a conclusion. Every problem there is always a answer. I got everything now. I hate the answer. I hate the truth. I hate the way I am right now. I hate the situation I am in now. I hate the way I tears, I hate crying myself to sleep almost every night. Or I should say I hate everything.

I am like a lost soul now. Walking in circles. Looking for the way out. I lost the hope, the light and everything. I give up! I really do. 

This is not me seriously. I got nothing much to comment or say because I am seriously dead in it. Anyway, thanks Ryden and Pei ying for listening to me. I will get back on track real soon. 

Eileen.