First post of the year

Hi everybody,

I am nearly a month late to update on my new year (2016) resolution. Not because I am busy but many things are going on happening around me that nearly kill me down. 

All I can say is I really hope and wish that everything will come to an end and everyone just move on in life and be happy, that is more than enough.

Anyway, I can conclude that 2015 is a bad year for me despite me achieving most of my wish list (resolution). 

This is what I wrote for 2015:

1) This is out as we have officially lease out the showroom to aunty Annie due to abc reason. 

2)  I have slim down and lose weight of nearly 20kg since last year (with some break interval of 3 months or more due to moving of our office). I have shared how I managed to slim down that fast in the previous blog post (http://ongzhiweieileen.blogspot.sg/2015/06/slimming.html) 

3 & 4) I have gotten my licence last year 31st July 2015, but it's not my first try la. 

5) I am still far away from saving up for my uni, I guess I have to delay my plan already. Saving up is so freaking difficult la. I am spending more than I save, why like this? I really need to think and work it out about this already. 

In the year of 2015, 
I met new people, be friends with them, start conversation with them, but I do lose some people too. Life fact: People come and go, true fact: I gain people in life and yes I lose some too. 

A big thank you to everyone who choose to stay and be part of me, watch me grow, standby me especially at my lowest peak of my life, no words describe how much I love you and how important your present and you to me. 

And not forgetting those people who choose to leave, I don't blame anyone but myself. Maybe because I am not a very good friend to you, that make you feel that our friendship doesn't worth any value nor commitment. But also thank you for the leave, you made the right choice as I didn't know all these while my commitment in this friendship is not appreciated.

Credit from my instagram @eileeonggg

Living the life I want it to be, I dare to say over the past 23 years, my life is filled with lots of happiness and of cause unhappiness too. I know I cannot go any further but to decide what is the best for me or rather my future. I sincerely thank you people for slapping hard right in my face telling me how much time I have wasted over the years, and I am working towards my aim and goals. I know I am late, but it's late than never right?

I feel so lousy or rather a loser in life. I am turning 30 in like 5 years time, yet I have achieve NOTHING in life. I do not know how did I come over the past 23 years, all I know is I have fall badly and I have stand up and be the stronger me, I have grown up mature as I got the experience from everything,  I have experience the worst scenario in my life, I got threat since young, I have the experience the darkest point of my life. 

As I mentioned earlier I am experiencing the worst nightmare in my life that I nearly lost myself or rather die. Out of sudden all my family members became the worst nightmare that the whole family mistaken me, scolded me, shouted at me, making nasty comments etc that hurt me both mentally and physically. I have no comments to start nor end this but all I can say is I am badly hurt by this. I do not wish to talk about this but one thing I would like to clarify: I have seen the whole picture clearly, at the last point in my life: I have no family members standing by me. How sad life my life is. 

Another thing I don't know if I should feel happy or sad about. I came to realized that all this while I am the silly one committing so much to this family yet what I got back is this. All I know is that my sister can do everything (including of hurting me from the front and back, so small actions behind me to get me into trouble, misunderstand, hurt) to get what she wants, including of me dying. This shows how great this sister is, and how selfish she is. It left me with speechless and I do not know what can I say.

Alright come to the conclusion of everything, I hope that everything will come to an end. Things can be 

Wish list for the year 2016:

I do not want to wish for anything but everyone happiness. 

This year gonna be a different year for me, Chinese new year reunion dinner became something meaningless for me, we still sit down together and eat but the purpose is no longer there but just eating. Do not wish to spoil everyone mood but to play along eating with them even if I don't like it. 

I am not going to do any birthday celebration with my friends and family this year. I want my birthday to be as simple as a normal day. No point celebrating everyone birthday if things got so bad and hurt each other so badly.

Eileen