The end of a relationship can lead to many unanswered question, unspoken doubts, and no closure etc etc. But personally I feel it's never fair for the other party for not knowing the truth, if one party were to take the first leave, he or she should tell the other party, isn't it?
This is the second time I am going through ''no closure relationship'', yes I have many doubts that I really wanna know badly, but he refused to tell me, what can I do? What else can I say?
Nicholas is the first person to know that I fall out of love, before I could call him and started crying, he called me and rant this at me:
''My dear, I know your feeling shit right now. I know what your thinking right now, I want you to stop thinking of those things that you know I dislike. One bad point of you is whenever things goes wrong you will put all the blame on yourself. I watched you grow since school days, this bad habit of yours will never change''.
''I do not know what is the reason why this man want you to leave him, perhaps he has his own reason. Like you mentioned, maybe without him you will be happier''?
Yes perhaps his leave will be a better choice and option for me as I will be happier, no more doubting relationship, no more worrying what is he doing out there, worrying about his safety and of cause worrying what will happen to him etc etc.
Before I end and close my conversation with this man that I once fight hard for, I would like to express my feelings here. Perhaps he might not be able to reach here reading but then it might help me to move on better I guess.
To the man that I once fight hard for:
Thank you so much for all the sweet memories you have created with me. Thank you for pampering me like a small girl with my fav sweets, candies and chocolates. Thank you for making an effort to wake up early to meet me up for breakfast. Thank you for sending me home after our dinner. Thank you for making an effort to remember what is my fav food, fruits, drinks, snacks, chocolates etc etc.
I do not know what is the real reason that why you want me to leave you, but I know you have your reason behind, ''tired'' is just an excuses for you but not a real reason. Well I know in between us there are so much of misunderstanding, argument every few days, many things to face and encounter in future etc etc etc and etc.
Been 4 days since I last seen you or rather heard any news from you, I hope your doing good, as always. Anyway, I am happy to received your text this morning. I should be feel happy about it but in fact I don't, I am speechless upon receiving your text. I didn't expect this is how you look at me. I did explained in the past, believe it or not it's not up to me.
Take care!
给最笨最傻的傻瓜，明知道你不会来到这里看我写了什么，还是决定写。
笨猪！
谢谢你在这四个月对我的好，关心，疼，每晚吃完晚餐送我回家，很努力天天六点起床陪我吃早餐，星期天陪我出去玩，等等等等。看的出来你真的很努力天天早起，除了谢谢还是谢谢。
昨晚看了我们星星里的简讯，笑了也落泪了。很不舍得还是把简讯删除掉。
我不知道你为什么要我离开你，我相信你有你的理由你不想说我明白，大家明白两个人天天吵，为了小事吵，吵久了不累也会烦。我有告诉你理由为什么我会发那么大的火，你明白不明白我不知道。
我不知道为什么我们两个突然多出了很多隐瞒，我还是一样的我做什么都让你知道，就是怕你误会笨蛋。每次我生气后还是吵完架后你才把实话告诉我，为什么就不能坦白先呢？我真的不明白。
今天看了你的简讯，明白了原来你是这样看我的。很抱歉你错了，我比你还想知道是谁在惹事。用脑去想如果我要惹事我该嘛还要隐藏到那么辛苦，我只说最后一次我没惹事，信不信由你。我什么都不讲了，懒得解释，解释那么多你多不信我也没话说。
真的很想知道你是那么看我的吗？等你冷静后再让我知道，等你。
好好照顾自己。
:)
I am tired of how I used to fight for things that doesn't belong to me, I am tired of who I am, I am tired of being me, I am tired of putting a fake mask, I am tired of everything. Basically I am tired. Please take me away.
As I know myself, I can't deny that fact that I miss you, can't denied the fact that I have the urge to call you, but I know I can't.
This is the second time I am going through ''no closure relationship'', yes I have many doubts that I really wanna know badly, but he refused to tell me, what can I do? What else can I say?
Nicholas is the first person to know that I fall out of love, before I could call him and started crying, he called me and rant this at me:
''My dear, I know your feeling shit right now. I know what your thinking right now, I want you to stop thinking of those things that you know I dislike. One bad point of you is whenever things goes wrong you will put all the blame on yourself. I watched you grow since school days, this bad habit of yours will never change''.
''I do not know what is the reason why this man want you to leave him, perhaps he has his own reason. Like you mentioned, maybe without him you will be happier''?
Yes perhaps his leave will be a better choice and option for me as I will be happier, no more doubting relationship, no more worrying what is he doing out there, worrying about his safety and of cause worrying what will happen to him etc etc.
Before I end and close my conversation with this man that I once fight hard for, I would like to express my feelings here. Perhaps he might not be able to reach here reading but then it might help me to move on better I guess.
To the man that I once fight hard for:
Thank you so much for all the sweet memories you have created with me. Thank you for pampering me like a small girl with my fav sweets, candies and chocolates. Thank you for making an effort to wake up early to meet me up for breakfast. Thank you for sending me home after our dinner. Thank you for making an effort to remember what is my fav food, fruits, drinks, snacks, chocolates etc etc.
I do not know what is the real reason that why you want me to leave you, but I know you have your reason behind, ''tired'' is just an excuses for you but not a real reason. Well I know in between us there are so much of misunderstanding, argument every few days, many things to face and encounter in future etc etc etc and etc.
Been 4 days since I last seen you or rather heard any news from you, I hope your doing good, as always. Anyway, I am happy to received your text this morning. I should be feel happy about it but in fact I don't, I am speechless upon receiving your text. I didn't expect this is how you look at me. I did explained in the past, believe it or not it's not up to me.
Take care!
给最笨最傻的傻瓜，明知道你不会来到这里看我写了什么，还是决定写。
笨猪！
谢谢你在这四个月对我的好，关心，疼，每晚吃完晚餐送我回家，很努力天天六点起床陪我吃早餐，星期天陪我出去玩，等等等等。看的出来你真的很努力天天早起，除了谢谢还是谢谢。
昨晚看了我们星星里的简讯，笑了也落泪了。很不舍得还是把简讯删除掉。
我不知道你为什么要我离开你，我相信你有你的理由你不想说我明白，大家明白两个人天天吵，为了小事吵，吵久了不累也会烦。我有告诉你理由为什么我会发那么大的火，你明白不明白我不知道。
我不知道为什么我们两个突然多出了很多隐瞒，我还是一样的我做什么都让你知道，就是怕你误会笨蛋。每次我生气后还是吵完架后你才把实话告诉我，为什么就不能坦白先呢？我真的不明白。
今天看了你的简讯，明白了原来你是这样看我的。很抱歉你错了，我比你还想知道是谁在惹事。用脑去想如果我要惹事我该嘛还要隐藏到那么辛苦，我只说最后一次我没惹事，信不信由你。我什么都不讲了，懒得解释，解释那么多你多不信我也没话说。
真的很想知道你是那么看我的吗？等你冷静后再让我知道，等你。
好好照顾自己。
:)
I am tired of how I used to fight for things that doesn't belong to me, I am tired of who I am, I am tired of being me, I am tired of putting a fake mask, I am tired of everything. Basically I am tired. Please take me away.
-Take me away-
我明明知道自己会想你，明明知道自己很想打电话给你，可是我自己知道我不可以。As I know myself, I can't deny that fact that I miss you, can't denied the fact that I have the urge to call you, but I know I can't.
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