Every single day,  I am living with stress, worried and fear. Nightmare come after one another. Hoping everything can end smoothly and get everything back on track... I hope I pray. That's all. 

Count down: 9 more days to my birthday. I just want to get myself hangover for one night, wake up everything gonna be alright. I am just asking for one night, that's all. We have already start planning on how and where to celebrate. I just want a simple dinner or lunch. That's all. Nothing else, no need chalet or whatsoever. 

This is what I thought of: Get grandma and father to cook on that day, ask relative over for either lunch or dinner. Simple and nice. Steady not? Convenient for everyone, small children and elderly. And I think we will be the one cleaning up the place afterall. Shall discuss it with elder sister tonight. I have the final say. 

Ah yi asked me if this coming dec wanna go holiday with family? I am okay with it also. I calculate my monthly income now, I hope I can afford to pay for my family and go together. Bring my father there as he wanted to go there. Hope my wish will come true. Bring him go relax and chill. 

After being through so much, I told myself:  I need to be strong. Everything is waiting for me to face it and handle it. I got the confident that I can do it. I CAN! Trust me. 

I am asking for a short break. Free from everything. Including calls and text msg. 

Eileen.